"it" just moved
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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