I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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