you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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