So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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