her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
