I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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