i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
