Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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