I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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