I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
