I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
