We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
