You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
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