seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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