eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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