Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
