Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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