just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
