I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
