Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
