Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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