The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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