there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
