Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
