he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
