Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
