why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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