Me too!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
