I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
