Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
where am i from again
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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