Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
