Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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