Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
