we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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