I didn't shave. On purpose
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
