This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
