you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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