her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
