So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
50% drunk capacity currently
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
