Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
