As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
