Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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