I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
