i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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