I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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