I think my vagina is haunted
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
