i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
