I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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