it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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