But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
