She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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