what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
