i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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