it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Sext me about skeletons
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
